a quiet truth that found me when I finally looked up

.
.
I was living online more than I was living here
it didn’t happen in one big moment
no dramatic scene
no sudden clarity
just a small pause
a tiny breath
a quiet second where the world felt real again
I looked up
and the room felt warmer
the air felt softer
and I realized
I’d been scrolling through everyone else’s life
while mine waited patiently in the corner
when the screen felt louder than my thoughts
.
.
I didn’t notice how much space it took
the feed kept moving
and I kept moving with it
post
scroll
repeat
I wasn’t choosing anything
I was just following the noise
and somewhere in that loop
I forgot what my own days felt like
without a screen telling me what mattered
when I saw myself in the reflection
.
.
not the version I posted, the real one
my face looked tired
my eyes looked busy
my mind felt crowded
and it hit me
the feed wasn’t my life
it was just a place I kept running to
because it was easier than sitting with myself
the real me
the soft me
the messy me
was outside the frame
when the world felt different offline
.
.
life moved slower, kinder, more honest
I heard birds
I noticed light
I felt my own breath again
I remembered what it felt like
to be bored
to be quiet
to be present
the kind of moments
you can’t post
because they don’t look like anything
but they feel like everything
when I started choosing myself
.
.
I didn’t quit the feed, I just came back to me
I still scroll
I still post
I still laugh at random videos
but now
I know the difference
between living
and watching other people live
I choose my life first
the real one
the soft one
the one that doesn’t need an audience
and for you
.
.
your life is bigger than the screen too
maybe you forgot
maybe you got lost in the noise
maybe you’ve been scrolling through days
that don’t feel like yours
but your real life
the warm one
the human one
the one that actually holds you
it’s still here
waiting
softly
rest
breathe
you’re okay
you get to choose your life again

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